a group of friends was discussing how to address gender-neutral housing options for a conference. one person’s opinion was to have it, but keep it silently present. because, if he were in that situation, he would feel uncomfortable with “the whole situation,” specifically for the chance of his sexuality as straight being questioned if he got stuck in the gender-neutral housing.
you’re uncomfortable because providing people who typically have less visibility and voice are given a space to feel safe (or hopefully safer than they would without it)? uncomfortable that your privileged status might be challenged and make you feel uncomfortable for a day or so? not a big deal that some people may feel uncomfortable, not to mention unsafe, because their identity is often never recognized or actively illegitimized.
being less roundabout in conveying what I mean/how I tell people things.
Boss: This belongs to someone named…Ching. Chang. Chung. You know, whatever.
Me: Those are all different names.
things that make an upsetting topic seem sorta alright:
“she reminds me of draco malfoy…”
is one of those words that, after repetition, loses its meaning. what does it even mean anymore
today in research methods, i sat gritting my teeth through many of my class mates’ presentations. they were all (i admit, even my groups to an extent) packed tight with dichotomous gender categories, heterosexism, general stereotype reinforcement, all that good-stuff
one group looked at benevolent sexism oriented towards children. would parents be more likely to help a female child across the street than a male child? their findings supported this hypothesis. they explained that these were instances of learning in which females are taught cautious behaviors and males are not. in a general context: females are taught gender roles, males are simply not taught. the entire focus of this course looks at the effects of males acting on females.
on the first day of class when i asked my professor about the complimentary construction of masculinity and how males are negatively affected by (benevolent) sexism, everyone seemed confused by my question. in the end it was misinterpreted and left unanswered. it seems unfair that, because one group is subscribed a higher rank in a social hierarchy, to assume that this status always yields power and positivity. i do not want to belittle any struggles that come from female and feminine gender identities because misogyny and associated gender-roles have huge effects on many peoples lives. but i also want to avoid ignoring all of the ways and directions that this system hurts people of all gender identities and expression. it stops progress to assume that power is a linear vector (foucaltttttttt ahhh).
their study just got me thinking on that. hopefully ill be able to steer our next study in a more positive/less reductionist direction because being so exclusive makes me feel wrong in a lot of ways.
misread something on facebook as “you can’t appropriate without a wand”